I never thought I’d have a farm…

You wouldn’t know it by the life I live now, but I did not grow up in the country. I grew up in a subdivision. The strangest pet we ever had was a hamster named Pita and a cockatiel that used to spit water at my dad. I always thought I would like to live on a farm, kind of like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. I never really wanted to WORK on the farm just wander through it petting the animals and singing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”. šŸ™‚

When I moved out to the country I realized I could never again live in a subdivision. There is something so peaceful about sitting on your deck and not seeingĀ a single house or opening your windows at night and hearing frogs and crickets instead of the sounds of traffic. Jim didn’t grow up in the country either, in fact when we first moved in together we lived in an apartment right in the heart of Fairview Heights, no peace there. So when we started looking for a house we knew we wanted something with some land and privacy. We looked at a lot of houses and there were a few we liked but they didn’t have the country feel we were looking for. The first time we walked through our house we knew it was ours. Our living room is windows on 2 sides and it looks out on 5 acres of land. The only time you can see a house from our house is in the dead of winter and you have to look pretty hard. I love it.

I don’t remember what made Jim decide he wanted chickens but he did. So we got 20 chickens and he built them the biggest, baddest chicken coop ever. They live in a chicken palace. Then we got the goats. There “pen” (for lack of a better word) was bigger and better than the chicken coop. Complete with huge tires and ramps to climb and jump on. Jim doesn’t half-ass anything. When he starts a project he goes all out. The chickens are fun and the goats are adorable and sweet but I have always wanted a little pig. I really wanted one of those little teacup pigs that you can carry around in your purse, but they are very expensive and after I thought about it, I don’t really want a pig in the house. They are pretty clean and very smart. I don’t know who ever decided pigs were dumb. They aren’t. But considering I already clean up after a two-year-old, a teenager, a grown man and a dog the size of a horse, the last thing I need is a pig in my house. So I had kind of given up on the idea of getting a pig, although I brought it up every now and then.

Last night when I got home from work Jim asked me to go out to the shed with him to see what he found in the goats water bucket. I was a little hesitant because I wasn’t sure I really wanted to see what he found in the goats water bucket. Rodents have been known to drown themselves in there a time or two and if it was a snake I was going to pee my pants. But, reluctantly, I went with him. When I walked in the shed I saw two little pigs in a fenced area inside the goat pen. To say I freaked out is an understatement.Ā I have never been that excited over an animal in my adult life. They are SO CUTE! ImageI named them Wilbur and Charlotte (Charlie for short) from Charlotte’s Web. They are still so scared they won’t let us touch them but when I go out to the shed the little girl takes a few steps towards me and clicks at me and I click back at her. I cannot wait for them to get a little more comfortable and let us hold them. They will get about as big as the pig in the move Babe. Best surprise ever! After we went back inside last night Jim said to me “I think we officially have a farm”.Ā I am pretty sure 1 horse sized dog, 18 baby chicks, 1 hen, 2 goats, and 2 baby pigs qualifies.

Before I met Jim I had never known anyone who likes to surprise people as much as he does. He has surprised me with some great things over the years but this one is by far my favorite.

I now have everything I have ever really wanted. I just might carry little Charlie around in my purse if she will let me. šŸ™‚


The real story of Cinderella….

I am a firm believe that fairy tales, romantic movies and books like “Fifty Shades of Grey” are responsible for the unrealistic expectations some women have for relationships and life in general, me included.

My sister said it best when she said she had to stop reading “Fifty Shades of Grey” because she was getting so mad at her boyfriend for not being affectionate enough or thoughtful enough. I mean, what man can live up to Christian Grey?

Maybe it would be helpful if they made sequels to movies like Cinderella, showing Cinderella after her and Prince Charming had children. She would beĀ dressed again in her rag clothing, carrying laundry baskets and breakfast trays up the stairs to her kids and husband. She would spend her days cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, giving baths, she would yell at the Prince for not pulling his weight around the house or helping with the kids and after the kids went to bed she would collapse in a heap on the couch, exhausted. It would portray an adult relationship how it actually is, with fightingĀ and making up. It would show women that a real relationship, no matter how much of a fairy tale falling in loveĀ is, matures into something much more complex. You both will have your fair share of doubts and hopefully you will be able to turn to each otherĀ during those times.Ā A relationship isn’t looking at each other across the room and falling madly in love, it’s choosing to build a life together and intertwining every aspect of yourself with another person.

I have learned there are more important, REAL,Ā things that I want in a relationship.

I want a man who, when our kid throws up all over the floor and then falls into it, cleans it all up with no complaints. That’s my idea of Prince Charming!

I want inside jokes, to be able to communicate from across the room with a look, I want warm arms to fall into after a long day. Above all I want someone who I have fun with. No relationship is perfect, every relationship has weak spots and problems, in the long run you have to chose the qualities in a relationship that are important to you.

Every person has different things they need from a relationship. You can’t judge whether or not someone’s relationship is good or bad unless you are in it. What you need from your partner might be completely different from what someone else needs. No two relationships are the same. It’s up to you to decide what is right for you.

I say it all the time, you are responsible for your own happiness. FigureĀ out what it is you want andĀ don’t settle for anything less. Even if you have toĀ go through something unbelievably hard to find happiness, I promise you it’s worth it in the end. Ā At least it was for me. šŸ™‚

We should really do something to stop our babies from growing up so fast!

As I write this, pitiful mommy tears are running down my face. Tyler used the potty today for the first time. He was so excited! I was am so excited for him. I screeched, jumped up and down, clapped my hands and called daddy and all the grandparents so he could tell them the good news. Then I put him down for a nap and I cried.

I am so sad. I shouldn’t be, I know. This is exciting. It’s the beginning of the end of diapers. That’s exciting stuff. Plus, he is growing up and he’s smart and sweet, seriously sweet, and so funny. I am so proud of him. But, Jim and I aren’t going to have any more children. So every time he does something monumental, I am both extremely proud and devastated, because in that moment I forget that I really don’t want to have any more babies and all I can think about is that I won’t have any more babies. It hits me that already Tyler never lets me carry him and he’s only going to get more independent as he gets older. And he’s getting older so unbelievably fast. It feels like I haven’t even fully taken in the fact that I am a mom to this sweet little boy and he’s already grown up. Learning to use the potty is one of the last things he will learn before is officially not a baby anymore. I need him to slow down. It’s not fair.

People told me before Tyler was born that it went by fast and to cherish every moment but this is ridiculous. They should be little longer. I don’t think anyone could have prepared me for truly how fast it goes.

I always knew I wanted to be a mom but I don’t think I had any idea what it really meant until I held Tyler in my arms. Maybe I didn’t even know then. I had no idea that it feels like your whole heart is this little person. I didn’t know that with every new thing they learn you feel excited, insanely proud and a little sad all at the same time. I didn’t understand that when my parents would say “this hurts me more than it hurts you” they really meant it.

I read a book once about a man who could feel other peoples feelings as though they were his own. I think that’s what it’s like to be a mom. We feel our kids happiness and our hearts break over their tears. We smile and cheer at the new things they learn and we hold back our tears because they are growing up so fast.

Even though I am sad that he’s growing up, I am also excited. Every day brings something new and as he gets older he develops more of his own personality. It’s so much fun to see what he’s going to do or hear what he has to say. My mom told me once that every age was her favorite. She would catch herself saying “this is my favorite age” and then the next year would come and that was her favorite. I would have to agree with her. Each age brings new things to learn and discover. I just have to remind myself of that when I get sad to see him growing up. I need to remind myself when I have to chose between doing the dishes or playing cars to leave the dishes in the sink and enjoy every moment that I can.

Everyone who has kids has some piece of advise they pass on to friends who are having babies. Mine is to hold them. Do not listen to people who tell you not to hold your babies too much. Hold them every chance you get, watch them sleep, smell their little heads, hold their bottles for them for as long as you can. Don’t push them to grow up. It’s ok if they don’t give up the bottle at a year old or they still take a pacifier. Let them be babies because whether you like it or not they grow up quickly enough on their own. Enjoy and cherish every minute.