I am a firm believe that fairy tales, romantic movies and books like “Fifty Shades of Grey” are responsible for the unrealistic expectations some women have for relationships and life in general, me included.
My sister said it best when she said she had to stop reading “Fifty Shades of Grey” because she was getting so mad at her boyfriend for not being affectionate enough or thoughtful enough. I mean, what man can live up to Christian Grey?
Maybe it would be helpful if they made sequels to movies like Cinderella, showing Cinderella after her and Prince Charming had children. She would be dressed again in her rag clothing, carrying laundry baskets and breakfast trays up the stairs to her kids and husband. She would spend her days cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, giving baths, she would yell at the Prince for not pulling his weight around the house or helping with the kids and after the kids went to bed she would collapse in a heap on the couch, exhausted. It would portray an adult relationship how it actually is, with fighting and making up. It would show women that a real relationship, no matter how much of a fairy tale falling in love is, matures into something much more complex. You both will have your fair share of doubts and hopefully you will be able to turn to each other during those times. A relationship isn’t looking at each other across the room and falling madly in love, it’s choosing to build a life together and intertwining every aspect of yourself with another person.
I have learned there are more important, REAL, things that I want in a relationship.
I want a man who, when our kid throws up all over the floor and then falls into it, cleans it all up with no complaints. That’s my idea of Prince Charming!
I want inside jokes, to be able to communicate from across the room with a look, I want warm arms to fall into after a long day. Above all I want someone who I have fun with. No relationship is perfect, every relationship has weak spots and problems, in the long run you have to chose the qualities in a relationship that are important to you.
Every person has different things they need from a relationship. You can’t judge whether or not someone’s relationship is good or bad unless you are in it. What you need from your partner might be completely different from what someone else needs. No two relationships are the same. It’s up to you to decide what is right for you.
I say it all the time, you are responsible for your own happiness. Figure out what it is you want and don’t settle for anything less. Even if you have to go through something unbelievably hard to find happiness, I promise you it’s worth it in the end. At least it was for me. 🙂