In July it will be 5 years since Jim and I moved in together. It’s crazy to think of all we have been through in the time we have known each other. Most of the time it seems like he has always been in my life. But when I think back to the night we met, it seems like it was yesterday. I am amazed we have made it to where we are today. There were so many times in our past neither of us imagined we would make it, but we did. There are a lot of things in my life I regret, and I consider myself incredibly lucky my life has turned out the way that it has. It’s not perfect by any means. Jim and I both have our faults and there are times we probably don’t like each other very much, I think that is the case for most relationships. But at the end of the day there is no one I would rather come home to.
I knew the first night Jim and I met that we were supposed be in each other’s lives. We have both said that. There was just a feeling, a connection. Jim makes me feel special and sexy, he values my opinion. I have found in him what some people never find in a relationship. Five years into our relationship we have the same passion we did in the beginning. I still get butterflies when he reaches for me at night, when he leans in to kiss me, or sends me a sweet text during the day. If we go dancing it feels like we are the only people on the dance floor, we shared our New Years Eve kiss surrounded by thousands of people, but to us it felt like we were the only people in the room. I knew once I had felt that connection, I couldn’t live without it.
There have been times over the years we have taken each other for granted, it is so easy to do. When you go from it being just the two of you, most of the time, to being a 24/7 family it’s easy to get caught up in the day to day monotony and forget to tell each other how much you appreciate them. We are all guilty of it. We are all guilty of spouting off about the negative things in our lives and our relationships because we are frustrated, tired or angry. I used to always be so positive but I have noticed myself focusing on the negative so much more lately. I know this winter has taken a toll on my mood. It always does, this year has been worse than the previous years. It’s been hard to pull myself out of this funk. But spring is coming and I am really going to try to get my positive attitude back. I am going to focus more on the things that make me happy and showing appreciation for all the good things in my life.
Jim does this thing where he occasionally finds a heart shaped potato chip and leaves it some random place in the house so I will find it. Every time I find one it makes me smile. He knows it and that makes it that much better. It shows me he was thinking about me. It’s a little thing that feels like a big thing. That’s what life is all about, the little things.
Tonight I was laying in bed with Tyler and Jim watching Monsters University. Jim was tickling Tyler and Tyler was laughing so hard, saying “again daddy again”, I was smiling the whole time. I am so incredibly lucky. Jim is a wonderful, loving dad and an amazing partner in life. Our son is beyond words incredible. He is adorable, funny and so smart. Every single day he says something that cracks me up and he is learning something new every 5 minutes. I love being his mom.
I am hoping Spring returns to stay sometime soon. I’m ready for green grass, long walks, trips to the park, suntans, and flip flops. All things that bring good moods to everyone and after the winter we all have endured we have earned it!